Book Review: Empty Nest, Full Life (by J. Savage)

(Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. I post these links because I have tried and value the product and not because of the commission I receive.)

The Backstory

In my younger years, the “Hearts at Home” conference was my happy place. 

These inspiring weekend getaways centered on motherhood with all its joys and trials. I remember being so excited to get away with my mom-friends, then missing my kids so much (our hearts really were at home!), and then being so eager to get back home, refreshed and renewed. 

Hearts at Home was founded in 1993, the year my second child was born and my first-born turned two. I attended the conference a handful of times when my kids were young, but as they grew and our lives got busier, I stopped. “Hearts at Home” slipped back into the recesses of my mind. 

One of the speakers who always impressed me was Jill Savage, the founder of the organization. So imagine my surprise when my path crossed Jill’s again, this time when I was two years into my empty-nest years! It all happened through a series of fortunate events.

In April, I launched my new website, in part to encourage empty nesters. Then, over the summer, I became close friends with a few writers through an online writer’s community. When one of those friends heard I was writing about empty nesting, she was excited to tell me about her friend, Jill Savage, who was about to release a book on the same topic. All this to show...it really is a small, small world. 

I signed up to get Jill’s book, Empty Nest, Full Life: Discovering God’s Best for Your Next on its release day, and have recently finished it. In the meantime, I’ve chatted with Jill through her Facebook Group, “Empty Nest, Full Life,” (where she graciously shared my website with her readers). I also messaged her about the conference she held for empty-nest moms in Illinois in October. Though disappointed I wasn’t able to attend, I’m thrilled I could “meet” Jill online and hope to one day do so in person with the help of our mutual friend.

The Book

Just as Jill was outstanding in helping young moms navigate the throes of motherhood back in the day, she continues her calling in helping many of those same moms let go of their children and embrace the empty nest. In Empty Nest, Full Life, she guides the reader through two major steps to reach their “Full Life” potential. 

First, Jill walks parents through the process of “letting go.” As our children leave home, it forces us in very concrete, physical ways to let go of them. But Jill leads us through many of the less tangible roadblocks that can make letting go so hard. I could relate to so many examples in her chapters on expectations and guilt. Jill helps us to forgive ourselves and offers grace instead of guilt. The instruction to “let go of opinions,” also hit home for me on so many levels. 

Jill encourages her readers to let go of other practices that might be holding us back. How many family traditions do we insist on holding onto? I know I really loved our family’s tradition of cutting down our Christmas tree together. Jill shows us how and why we should let some traditions go, and how it’s important to be flexible as our children begin to have lives of their own.

Jill also urges us to let go of our children’s problems. You know how moms like to fix everything? Yep. I’m still chained to that monster. Jill is very upfront about her own family’s struggles and the trials they endured. From her own experience, she has become a wise and accepting mentor for readers with children who struggle (which is pretty much all of us, right?).

Finally, Jill shows us how to let go of beliefs and attitudes that have become our idols. Control over our kids, their behaviors, and their success–we tend to worship these goals and envy others who appear to have it all together. In her book, she teaches us how to let go of these idols, and to give our control–and our worship–back to God. 

While the first half of the book (chapters 1-6) teaches us how to “Let Go!” the second half (chapters 7-12) instructs the reader to “Hold On!” Jill shows us how an empty nest doesn’t have to mean an empty life, but instead gives us new opportunities to grab hold of. New mission fields, passions, friendships, our marriages, and God, are the five areas she explores.

In each chapter, she outlines several examples of how we can find meaning in this new stage of our lives. I love how Jill gives illustrations from her life, but also thinks outside of her own box to what others might be drawn to. She has interviewed friends who share their stories, examples, and ideas. In her chapter “Grab Hold of God’s Hand” she doesn’t assume her readers to be Christian, but explains in a nutshell what it means, and invites the reader to dig deeper on her own if she desires, by giving resources and suggestions. 

Jill’s book is unabashedly Christian in its approach, just as the Hearts at Home conferences were. It is refreshing to find a guide that is current, relatable, and makes sense–but is also written from a Christian, and not strictly psychological, point of view. 

At the book’s end, Jill assists her readers in seeing this new phase of life as an “encore” performance on the stage of life. Her metaphor of musical theater stems directly from her own musical experience, and it’s a powerful one.

In addition to giving her readers this great resource, Jill provides other tools to support her book. An appendix of questions marriage partners can ask themselves is a great tool for strengthening those bonds. There are also discussion questions for each chapter which would be ideal for an empty nest support group, a moms’ group, or couples’ small group.

The Benefits

I highly recommend Empty Nest, Full Life for anyone who has recently become, or soon will be, an empty nester. You don’t have to be struggling with empty-nest syndrome to benefit from this read. It opened my eyes to ways in which I could be better at “letting go” and at “grabbing hold.” You will find yourself nodding in agreement and taking Jill’s advice to heart.

Just as Jill helped many of us young moms in our early days of parenting, she again brings us her experience and wisdom in a genuine, light-hearted, and compassionate way. Her example of how to step gracefully into not only the “empty nest” but also the “full life,” shines through every page in this treasure of a book.