A sore right shoulder. A noisy kitchen appliance. And November 9.
These three things actually could save my life.
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Looking back, I can see that the adjustment to an empty nest happened in three stages. For me, each one was a necessary part of the process. The first two stages were a matter of survival, while the third one helped me thrive.
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How do you handle your big milestone birthdays? Are they days to be concealed or celebrated? As I approached another “big one”, an unexpected surprise on the shores of Lake Michigan along with childhood memories, brought inspiration and peace.
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To every season, there is a thing (or two, or three…).
Before we get too far into 2022, it’s time for my year-end review of 2021. To recount the difficult things we’ve survived. To remember the good things we’ve enjoyed. But mostly, to give thanks for all the things.
Here are All the Things of 2021, as they unfolded for our family, season by season.
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Like the typical stance on my road bike, looking down at one’s wheel on the road or your feet on the path steals the glimpses of beauty that surround you. And yet, many aspects of aging do cause our eyes to look down. Our bodies’ depreciation keeps us focussed on ourselves and our problems.
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As we embark on any new journey, we can find promise and possibility by chasing the joy, rather than focusing on the pain. It’s true for biking. I’ve discovered it’s also true for empty-nesting.
How then, can we chase joy in the empty nest?
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As empty-nesters, we’ve been forced to give up the lives we had grown accustomed to. Gone are the days of simple meals for two, lower grocery bills, quiet evenings, empty guest rooms and uncluttered hallways. We now run the dishwasher once or twice a day instead of every other, find an empty coffee pot by mid-morning, and have given up our “assigned” chairs at the dinner table. Our empty nests have been interrupted.
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Whether or not you’ve followed our earlier episodes, I hope you’ll take a moment to sit down with a bowl of popcorn (or Gummi Bears, Junior Mints, etc.), and catch this latest blockbuster! Trust me, there’s no need to review, or even know the characters, and you’ll find the plot easy to follow.
So here goes…(cue Star Wars music).
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
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Two years ago my husband crushed his elbow in a biking accident. He was disappointed to miss out on what had become an annual tradition for us…the Michiana Ride for Hospice. While Tom, arm in sling, sat at the registration table, our son Seth took his place so I wouldn’t have to ride alone. (Truth be told, he was riding for the free beer at the after-party!)
Seth and I had a great time bonding through biking.
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Maybe it’s my Enneagram 7-ish-ness. Or the dreamer in me. But finding new things to start has never been the issue. It’s sticking it out to the finish that’s the real kicker.
I often start with gusto, but slowly lose steam as time goes on. It’s the way I do meal-planning, and gardening, and knitting, and several other pastimes. Self-discipline is hard. Stick-to-itiveness is not in my blood.
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The dog’s tags jingle. The cat saunters across the back of my chair, stretches out and purrs. These are the sounds I notice when the house is once again...too quiet…
…There’s no denying the Void. But rather than fill it with crazy-talk, I suggest we fill it with some NOISE!
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Our culture has become one of isolation and fear. We build fences to block out the noise of the world, to protect our children, and to keep strangers out. We avoid eye-contact with people. We prefer to close our windows and doors. We keep ourselves hidden.
I wonder what would happen if more of us would open the windows and stick our necks out. What would happen if we sat on the front porch for all the world to see?
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So you say your youngest (or only) child is about to leave for college? Your nest will be empty? How are you feeling about it?
Two years ago, my husband and I were about to embark on this adventure. I recall looking forward to all the free time I would finally have. I was also terrified of all the free time I would finally have.
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…these two empty nesters are striving to be “mighty nesters.” We’re still catching on, but I think we’re learning the secrets to creating a mighty nest…Recently, we biked Chicago’s Lakefront Trail…
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The weather was perfect. A balmy 79 degrees with a light southwest wind.
The timing was perfect. Friday afternoon with no evening plans and the whole weekend ahead of me.
I could think of no reason not to go for a bike ride.
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I’ve heard it said that routines are good, especially healthy ones like getting to bed on time, meditating, eating breakfast, and exercising. But there’s also something to be said for shaking up the routine, adding a little spice to your life, and trying new things.
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