A shot in the dark: snapping a six-week writer's block
Writer's block. I guess it was bound to happen.
I've spent the past six weeks feeling guilty about not writing, "thinking" about what to write, mulling ideas around in my head, discounting my ideas as uninteresting, feeling like I'm "forcing" a topic just for the sake of the blog...
I don't even know what to write today. Just knew I had to write. "If you think it, or say it...write it down." That's the advice I've given Leah over and over again, as she suffers from writing anxiety at the beginning of every writing assignment. I don't let her give me excuses like "But I don't know what to write about." (JUST WRITE WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.) Or, "It will sound stupid." (NO IT WON'T, AND YOU CAN FIX IT LATER.)
And so she starts. And so I've started. This post may sound like a "stream of consciousness", but I'm writing. I hope you, my readers, are not thinking how silly or stupid it sounds, because, you see, I just had to write something.
It's Friday afternoon, and I have a pretty free weekend ahead of me. The first one in a long time. Since I last wrote a blog post our calendar has been way too full, sometimes in good ways (our school musical, spring break in Orlando, a wedding, solo and ensemble State contest, 30 hour famine, community talent show, Easter, our 26th anniversary, Chloe's birthday, Jared's birthday)...and sometimes not so good (death and funeral of a friend, Tom's trip to California without me, physical therapy appointments twice a week for my aching back, doctor appointments for Leah's aching back, eye doctor, orthodontist, X-rays, labs...I'm really so, so tired of appointments!).
I guess maybe we've been a little stretched. By 4:30 this afternoon, the girls had crashed in the family room, and I was in bed, feeling a nasty cold coming on. After logging on to Facebook, I realized I hadn't read my friend Mary's blog in awhile. I looked it up, and was happy to see there were several posts to catch up on! Reading Mary's blog is like sitting down to a cup of coffee with her, hearing her retirement adventures and gaining from her level-headed insight on everything from organ music to good books, from traveling with (and without) kids, to the aging body. (Check it out here: http://mvanderkamisretiring.blogspot.com/2014_04_01_archive.html) Yes, I enjoyed catching up with her. But I must admit my first thought was one of guilt when I saw she had posted thirteen times in the first 25 days of April! Whoa. That's every other day. And I haven't written in 6 weeks!
I know that guilt is not the best motivator, and it's not exactly why I started writing today. It was more about the desire I felt to sit down with all of YOU over a cup of coffee and chat. About life, about busyness, about good times and bad...and, about writing. I'm learning that writing requires ideas. And time. And discipline. And desire. (Okay, and maybe a little bit of guilt to light the fire.) When all those stars align, you might find me writing. And even when they don't align, I might just take a shot in the dark anyway and see what happens.