Body, Mind and Soul
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write tonight because I've had so many thoughts and feelings over the past few days. So let's see where I go with this trio: Body, Mind, and Soul. First of all...the Body. Leah's body continues to strengthen, and for that we are thankful. Her blood sugars continue to come down a little more each day, although we've read that they can be very fickle, so we're trying not to call them "good" or "bad," just "high," "low," or "in the range." She's been participating in all of our family events, like selling programs at the Notre Dame game, church on Sunday morning, and youth group on Sunday night. Her incision from her surgery is finally healing up too.
To help her manage her numerous medical supplies and low-carb diet, I spent much of the day on Saturday reorganizing my kitchen. The first step was to get rid of our "candy cabinet." Since none of us really need it, and Leah can only have limited amounts, we sent bags of (slightly old) candy home with Jared and his friends (of course we kept the chocolate...I'm not crazy!). I then moved some things around, and made a nice space in the pantry for a little drawer organizer. The 5 drawers are filled with: 1) an extra blood glucose (BG) monitor, 2) lancets and test strips for her monitor, 3) needles and her once-a-day insulin pen, 4) 15-calorie emergency "quick" snacks for low blood sugar, and 5) extra Glucagon rescue pens for really low blood sugar. Finally, I labeled and filled some clear plastic containers with 10, 15, 20, 25 & 30-carb foods for her to throw into her lunch box or grab at her snack times. Keeping Leah's body fed is a task we are all taking pretty seriously these days.
Now, on to...the Mind. Leah is still trying to catch up with her homework and quizzes missed over the past couple of weeks. She's making progress, but wants to get caught up before next week, which is homecoming week, and full of many extra activities. We've all been filling our brains with lots of Diabetes information. We're reading some of the booklets the hospital sent home with us, and checking out websites, like TypeOneNation.org, a social network for Type 1 Diabetics. They say "knowledge is power," so we should feeling pretty empowered by now, right?
Which brings me to...the Soul. How does one begin to describe the feelings of a 16-year-old girl, her sister, and parents, as they deal with the daily reminder that life will never be the same? On the one hand...so relieved that it is "only" diabetes, and not cancer, or a tragic, fatal accident, as some of my dear friends are still dealing with. I thank God that Leah is going to be able to lead a normal life, and that she's still with us now, smiling, laughing and making music. And yet, when I hear my daughter sobbing in the shower, and we all sit down tearfully to dinner, I know that there is still much to accept and endure in the days, weeks, months and years ahead. We are angry, and know that life is not always fair...giving some kids seemingly perfect health, and others multiple health issues. And we can't yet answer the toughest question: "Why me?"
After dinner tonight, we turned to Psalm 27, and read these words:
The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom (or what) shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom (or what) shall I be afraid?
When the wicked (diabetes) advances against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.....
...I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. (v. 1-3, 13-14)
So that's what we'll do. We'll wait for the Lord, we'll be strong, and we'll take heart. And we'll keep praying for a cure.