We are sisters. And sisters care for one another. They laugh together. They listen and advise. They hold each other up when life gets hard.
But is it always rosy? Of course not! We’re still sisters, after all. And sisters have history.
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Whether or not you’ve followed our earlier episodes, I hope you’ll take a moment to sit down with a bowl of popcorn (or Gummi Bears, Junior Mints, etc.), and catch this latest blockbuster! Trust me, there’s no need to review, or even know the characters, and you’ll find the plot easy to follow.
So here goes…(cue Star Wars music).
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
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May I dance at your recital? Is that acceptable? I mean, if your teachers and professors and supervisors knew what I knew, if they had seen what I’ve seen, I think they’d dance too. Or at least they would understand if I got up and danced, right?
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I have a “November” binder at work. It’s full of speech and language activities with an autumn and Thanksgiving theme. This time of year we always read “I Know an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Pie.”…And we always play: “Would you rather?”
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In my younger years, the “Hearts at Home” conference was my happy place.
One of the speakers who always impressed me was Jill Savage, the founder of the organization. So imagine my surprise when my path crossed Jill’s again, this time when I was two years into my empty-nest years! It all happened through a series of fortunate events.
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“Well, it finally happened, Zachary. Somebody burned down my she shed.”
“Nobody burned down your she shed, Cheryl…”
You know the commercial. If you don’t, I’m afraid to say you might live under a rock. Besides being played countless times on TV, the State Farm commercial has scored over a million YouTube views. “Cheryl’s she shed” has come up in everyday conversations in my vicinity no less than four times in the past couple of months.
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When it comes to empty-nesting, I don’t consider it an either/or question. My glass is both half-empty AND half-full. And looking back, my whole parenting journey has been balancing the emptiness with the fullness.
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Two years ago my husband crushed his elbow in a biking accident. He was disappointed to miss out on what had become an annual tradition for us…the Michiana Ride for Hospice. While Tom, arm in sling, sat at the registration table, our son Seth took his place so I wouldn’t have to ride alone. (Truth be told, he was riding for the free beer at the after-party!)
Seth and I had a great time bonding through biking.
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Maybe it’s my Enneagram 7-ish-ness. Or the dreamer in me. But finding new things to start has never been the issue. It’s sticking it out to the finish that’s the real kicker.
I often start with gusto, but slowly lose steam as time goes on. It’s the way I do meal-planning, and gardening, and knitting, and several other pastimes. Self-discipline is hard. Stick-to-itiveness is not in my blood.
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The dog’s tags jingle. The cat saunters across the back of my chair, stretches out and purrs. These are the sounds I notice when the house is once again...too quiet…
…There’s no denying the Void. But rather than fill it with crazy-talk, I suggest we fill it with some NOISE!
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My cell phone and I are attached at the hip.
In a previous life, you would have found my babies there. Whether I was eating lunch, making dinner, or visiting with friends–I often carried a small child with me.
Now, when I leave the kitchen or my office at work, my hand instinctively taps my hip pocket to make sure my baby is still there. I seldom go anywhere without her.
Why am I so attached to this device? Is it wrong? Am I addicted?
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Our culture has become one of isolation and fear. We build fences to block out the noise of the world, to protect our children, and to keep strangers out. We avoid eye-contact with people. We prefer to close our windows and doors. We keep ourselves hidden.
I wonder what would happen if more of us would open the windows and stick our necks out. What would happen if we sat on the front porch for all the world to see?
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My husband and I have taken ballroom dancing lessons. We’re not very good. (We’re pretty bad, really.)
That’s likely because we’ve never gotten past the beginner stage. The instructor gives us the steps but when we try to put them to music, we always miss some and throw in extras. We’re expending so much energy in the process that we’re anything but graceful and exhausted when we’re finished.
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So you say your youngest (or only) child is about to leave for college? Your nest will be empty? How are you feeling about it?
Two years ago, my husband and I were about to embark on this adventure. I recall looking forward to all the free time I would finally have. I was also terrified of all the free time I would finally have.
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Could it be that my earring is robotic? I thought, as it magically released itself from my ear and latched on to me with the touch of a finger. Cool!
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Dad filled every nook and cranny. If there was an empty space, he would stuff it with a shoe or flip-flop. Some years we had to help him by sitting on the trunk lid while he pushed everything in and out of the way, and then with a final “click”, it shut!
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In this media-filled, work-centered, goal-oriented culture in which we live, taking time to observe, listen, and open up our hearts takes effort. And practice.
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…these two empty nesters are striving to be “mighty nesters.” We’re still catching on, but I think we’re learning the secrets to creating a mighty nest…Recently, we biked Chicago’s Lakefront Trail…
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